Dating Don't Do
Dating. Is that even a real term in our dictionary at this point?
I looked it up and shockingly it's still there.
Date (verb):
To go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested);
My problem with this could be simplified in a sentence or two, but that's just not how I do things. So here's my take on so called "dating" in todays day and age. Brace yourself!
Dating today is cynical. Everyone is out for themselves when the whole point of dating is to get out of your head to get into someone else's heart. Typically, this is supposed to be done by meeting a stranger that you see a common interest with or you think is attractive. Maybe you meet in a grocery store, maybe you meet in a bar. The point is, you notice something about them that entices you and you go for it! Today, we swipe. We swipe for the fitness models with perfect butts or the guys with pictures of their ripped muscles on the beach holding a dog. We swipe when we are bored. We swipe when we feel lonely.
We. Swipe.
To quote Dora the Explorer, "Swiper, no swiping."
The more we swipe, the more we distance our self from reality. In reality, if you saw that fitness model in the grocery store there is a 80% chance she is taken and a 20% chance she'd actually talk to you. Hey, stranger things have happened, but you catch my drift; it's not practical. On top of this, swiping makes it too easy. It's easy to be shallow and say "this person isn't good enough so I'll continue looking." That makes for a generation of people who will never settle down with someone they like because there is always potential for a "next best thing". But, the whole point in dating is to find love and love doesn't work in a "next best thing" world. Love is finding someone you click with on as many levels as possible and standing firm that this person is the one for you no matter how many Kim Kardashian or Ryan Goslings walk by. To play off of the swiping notion, phones are killing the actual act of dates. Instead of uninterrupted conversation over dinner to get to know someone, dates are now centered around checking phones and scrolling Facebook. We have become so overwhelmed by technology that we lack real life communication skills and this contributes to the reason a lot more people are single.
The perpetuation of "Netflix and chill" took on a whole new meaning when I realized it wasn't just a joke. How do you expect to learn about someone on a couch in front of a TV screen? If you are only expecting to try to get them into your bed this could be a useful tactic, but if your goal is to actually make an effort in meeting someone (past their looks) then get out of the house and do things you love! Show your date your go-to spot on the beach or the new museum everyone is talking about. Be yourself and let your guard down, that is the only real way to make a connection with someone else.
At the end, I think a lot of single people who swear they want a relationship are lying to themselves. They are programmed to think that a relationship will solve their problems. This stems from the propaganda that things like Facebook spew about how beautiful it all is. The truth? It's not. It's hard and people hide that side of it. No one wants the bad things to show so they boast everything great and lead the outside world to believe that everything is perfect. Love is f'ing hard. Love is difficult. Love is dirty and demanding and confusing, but love is worth it. The only thing is that you have to be willing to put down your phone and put in some overtime. In a world of auto satisfaction, that is damn near impossible for a lot of people and if you are one of them then you are better off working on yourself before trying to find someone else.
Will this way of dating ever change? Who knows. For me, it will. I'm going back to the stone age and leaving myself open for the right person to come along. I'm not meeting at your couch or texting you 24/7, and I'm not swiping right. I am calling for a chat, taking you to my favorite hiking trail, listening to who you really are, and praying that I'm the one you're looking for.
If you take nothing from this whole post please take this: don't walk all over people who actually give a shit about being real. Real people find real love and if you stand in the way of that then you may just end up 65 yrs old, alone, with 24 cats.
Remember, love waits for no one.
-A.
I looked it up and shockingly it's still there.
Date (verb):
To go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested);
My problem with this could be simplified in a sentence or two, but that's just not how I do things. So here's my take on so called "dating" in todays day and age. Brace yourself!
Dating today is cynical. Everyone is out for themselves when the whole point of dating is to get out of your head to get into someone else's heart. Typically, this is supposed to be done by meeting a stranger that you see a common interest with or you think is attractive. Maybe you meet in a grocery store, maybe you meet in a bar. The point is, you notice something about them that entices you and you go for it! Today, we swipe. We swipe for the fitness models with perfect butts or the guys with pictures of their ripped muscles on the beach holding a dog. We swipe when we are bored. We swipe when we feel lonely.
We. Swipe.
To quote Dora the Explorer, "Swiper, no swiping."
The more we swipe, the more we distance our self from reality. In reality, if you saw that fitness model in the grocery store there is a 80% chance she is taken and a 20% chance she'd actually talk to you. Hey, stranger things have happened, but you catch my drift; it's not practical. On top of this, swiping makes it too easy. It's easy to be shallow and say "this person isn't good enough so I'll continue looking." That makes for a generation of people who will never settle down with someone they like because there is always potential for a "next best thing". But, the whole point in dating is to find love and love doesn't work in a "next best thing" world. Love is finding someone you click with on as many levels as possible and standing firm that this person is the one for you no matter how many Kim Kardashian or Ryan Goslings walk by. To play off of the swiping notion, phones are killing the actual act of dates. Instead of uninterrupted conversation over dinner to get to know someone, dates are now centered around checking phones and scrolling Facebook. We have become so overwhelmed by technology that we lack real life communication skills and this contributes to the reason a lot more people are single.
The perpetuation of "Netflix and chill" took on a whole new meaning when I realized it wasn't just a joke. How do you expect to learn about someone on a couch in front of a TV screen? If you are only expecting to try to get them into your bed this could be a useful tactic, but if your goal is to actually make an effort in meeting someone (past their looks) then get out of the house and do things you love! Show your date your go-to spot on the beach or the new museum everyone is talking about. Be yourself and let your guard down, that is the only real way to make a connection with someone else.
At the end, I think a lot of single people who swear they want a relationship are lying to themselves. They are programmed to think that a relationship will solve their problems. This stems from the propaganda that things like Facebook spew about how beautiful it all is. The truth? It's not. It's hard and people hide that side of it. No one wants the bad things to show so they boast everything great and lead the outside world to believe that everything is perfect. Love is f'ing hard. Love is difficult. Love is dirty and demanding and confusing, but love is worth it. The only thing is that you have to be willing to put down your phone and put in some overtime. In a world of auto satisfaction, that is damn near impossible for a lot of people and if you are one of them then you are better off working on yourself before trying to find someone else.
Will this way of dating ever change? Who knows. For me, it will. I'm going back to the stone age and leaving myself open for the right person to come along. I'm not meeting at your couch or texting you 24/7, and I'm not swiping right. I am calling for a chat, taking you to my favorite hiking trail, listening to who you really are, and praying that I'm the one you're looking for.
If you take nothing from this whole post please take this: don't walk all over people who actually give a shit about being real. Real people find real love and if you stand in the way of that then you may just end up 65 yrs old, alone, with 24 cats.
Remember, love waits for no one.
-A.
Yassssss! Bitch!
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