My Third Eye's Blind

To quote my current selection on replay from Spotify,
"I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me"


This is how I'm feeling.


I'm caught in some very foreign emotions lately that I wonder how I will move away from. I am no stranger to jealousy, but my current life situation has me begging the question of how to shake this kind of jealousy. Meditate, maybe? Cry a little bit? Listen to Third Eye Blind on replay, checkmate.


I am happier than I have ever been, but distance and feelings and being afraid of heartbreak are things I've felt weighing me down constantly over the course of a few days. I feel like I'm coming down with a cold, but I have no sniffles or sneezes or cough; just a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat trying to tell me something. Trust is such a big factor of life. It is the foundation that love is built on and yet, it can falter. It can make you feel powerful or safe, then in an instant, make you feel small or lonely.


So, how's it going to be?


Will the evolution of something different for me ultimately extend knowledge to my heart and still my always running mind?


I don't have the answer.
And that scares me the most.


From the verge of confusion,

-A.